What a week! I am now officially the mom of a kindergartner. Wow, how time flies! Wasn't I just bringing her home from the hospital? But, I am so proud of her (and me) this week. No one cried and we all have made it to Friday (granted we started school on Wednesday).
Sydney's first day
I finally realized that this transition has been less about her moving on and more about me letting go. Sydney has done great and really shined, she came into her own. That speaks volumes to me about what a great kid she already is!
Looks just like the classrooms I remember
I think I was able to keep it together because 1) she did and 2) I was able to get my cry out last week to Jason. And while I cried and babbled about this and that and "my baby girl," I realized it wasn't because I was worried about Sydney moving on to a new school or not doing well or not liking her teachers. I was sad and worried about this next phase -- the school phase. This starts the next 12 years of her life in a tough place. A place where we all learned the lessons of life and they aren't all nice. While I liked school and did just fine in school, it is a little bittersweet to know what she has ahead of her. Frustration, learning, excitement, friendship, love, pain, loss. So many lessons I am not ready for her to have. So many lessons I want to shield her from. I want her to stay young and innocent and happy. To stay a child.
While I know that can't happen, this is what I think I had to mourn. I will do everything I can to help guide her through this, to be there for her, to let her fall when she needs to, but support her in getting up and doing it again. I know the pain that is to come and it hurts me already.
Wow, this parenting thing is sure hard. Jason and I always say that no one told us how hard it would be because they knew we wouldn't do it if we did know. But, you know what, it is another lesson in life. In letting go, in loving beyond yourself, in guiding a wonderful, fabulous human being who is part of you to be a superstar. In reality, we love these girls so much it hurts us, which is why this new phase is so hard.
But, like all the other things we have gotten through, we will get through this, too. We will enjoy it, celebrate it and definitely survive it.
Avery wanted to be just like her sister that morning with her own backpack
Cheers to all the moms out there having to let go of their "little one" this week and in the coming weeks to let their kindergartner find his/her way. Have a glass of wine and pat yourself on the back. You did it. Now, only 12 more years to go:)