Wednesday, December 2, 2009

The G-Word

Funny, when I told my husband about the name of this blog, he looked at me strangely and said, "I don't get the no guilt thing." And even when I explained that it was a way for us moms to try to come together and support each other and laugh and live with less guilt, it occurred to me that although it sounds sexist, the Y chromosome somehow lacks guilt. Now, not every guy is like this and I don't fault them. We, as women, just get the brunt of it. It could also be that I was raised Catholic, but I have met many other women of other religious views who have the same amount of guilt as I do. All that said, I wanted to share with you in my second post where I got the inspiration for this blog.

I was reading Suzy Welch's book "10-10-10" (highly recommended easy, inspirational read when I got to the chapter on using 10-10-10 to make decisions about your children and child-rearing. Sydney was 2 and discipline for my sanity was much needed (still is sometimes considering we had to start 1-2-3 Magic when she was 15 months, not kidding). The chapter is entitled "Teach Your Children Well: 10-10-10 as Your Partner in Parenting" and five pages in came the section called "The G-Word." Finally, a mom who is willing to talk about the guilt! While I am not saying you have to delve into 10-10-10 today, since none of us have any free time anyway (I read most of it a few minutes before passing out in bed each night), but I did want to share these words of Suzy's wisdom. It made me feel better, not so alone and definitely not so crazy. So today, let go of your guilt and have fun. It will all be there tomorrow.

Taken from 10-10-10, page 149-150:

…"After twenty years on the job, I would submit that parenting is the most complex endeavor in the world. It can reduce you to putty; it can enrage and humiliate you. It can break your heart. It can suffuse you with feelings of intimacy, pride, and joy so profound you don't know what you did to deserve such a blessing.

I'm not sure parenting can ever be easy, but by introducing greater clarity, consistency, and calm, 10-10-10 can make it easier, releasing you from guilt and doubt and building trust in both directions, child in parent and back the other way. All in, 10-10-10 markedly decreases the days when parenting feels haphazard and overwhelming, and increases the moments when you feel, "I'm being the parent I want to be, and heavens to Betsy, it seems to be working."

Oh, and by the way, should I feel guilty that I fed my child take out the last two nights in a row, because it seems to be haunting me today?J




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